It’s nice to know that you can still count on some things.
And amidst all the uncertainty, tumult and upheaval in the world today, we here at STONY MAN INTERNATIONAL never stop trying to make you feel safe, and secure.
So, with that in mind, we’d like to once again assure you and your family that the new STONY MAN cd is really, really almost complete.
Honest.
So tonight, when you and your loved ones gather around the table, or huddle around your humble campfire, or climb aboard the corporate Gulfstream for that ski trip to Banfff (this week Chef Brian’s trout choucroute is simply superlative; be sure to have Francois bring some of the parsley pesto on the side, and while he’s at it, how about a nice Riesling, say maybe the ‘74 Smith-Madrone?) just remember-
the new STONY MAN cd is really, really almost complete.
Really.
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You know, sometimes the Government really does know what’s best for you.
That’s why so many people have started lining up early to get their STONY MAN cd.
They know that when cold and flu season arrives, it’s just plain foolish to risk not having one.
They’re completely waterproof, and best of all, made entirely here, on earth, by real earth people.
So, don’t take any chances. Get yours today.
Four out of five doctors agree that Stony Man, when taken properly, can lessen many of the symptoms. Your results may vary. Do not take Stony Man if you are bored, pregnant, or may become bored or pregnant, or if you have ever been known as “Noopy, the Fire-Eating Wonder Bat”.
Stony Man is not for people under the age of 7 and 1/2, or for people over eleven and ½ feet tall.
Notify your doctor if anything weird starts happening to people on your block, or if anything begins to grow out of your upper arms.
Discontinue use if things in your house begin talking to you while you sleep, or if they begin asking to use your car, or if they begin to look like Frida Kahlo, Jackie Mason, or Franklin Pierce.
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